There are three types of grief that people can go through. These are acute grief, complicated grief, and integrated grief. Acute grief happens after a loss and the symptoms are normal to have for months after. These symptoms will fade over time. However, sometimes the symptoms of acute grief never go away, and this is when it becomes classified as complicated grief. These symptoms can last for years and the idea of moving on seems to be impossible for you. Once you get past the time period of complicated grief, you will enter the phase of integrated grief. This is when you have accepted the loss and can resume your life as normal once again. This is not to say the pain is gone or it hurts any less. It just means you can function as you once did before.
Examples of Complicated Grief
Some examples of complicated grief could be the inability to deal with the loss of a parent or child or the inability to move on for years after a relationship ends. Complicated grief can be treated in psychotherapy using a variety of modalities such as cognitive behavioral therapy. Psychotherapy can help you come to terms with the loss and develop skills to move forward with your life. You can learn how to get through the day with the pain but without letting the pain stop you from living. There is hope if you are suffering from complicated grief. Use the resources given to you which might be psychotherapy with a mental health professional and/or a strong friend support system. Utilize these opportunities to find out why the grief has hit you in such a strong way and what you can do to combat these difficult feelings.
Why Complicated Grief Happens
There is no single cause of complicated grief. It often arises when grief is compounded by:
- Sudden, traumatic, or violent death
- Lack of support—social, familial, or community
- Pre-existing mental health conditions (depression, anxiety)
- Attachment style, where loss feels especially destabilizing
- Guilt, ambivalence, or unfinished business with the person lost
When grief is intensified by one or more of these factors, a person may become stuck in grief’s grip rather than gradually moving forward.
How Complicated Grief Differs from Depression or PTS
At first glance, complicated grief may appear similar to depression or post-traumatic stress disorder. There is overlap in symptoms like persistent sadness, intrusive thoughts, and functional impairment. But key distinctions include:
- In complicated grief, the focus is on the loss itself—there is longing, yearning, or preoccupation with the deceased.
- In depression, feelings are more pervasive, generalized, and not rooted specifically in a loss.
- In PTSD, there is often fear, re-experiencing trauma, hypervigilance—traumatic triggering events dominate the symptoms.
Treating complicated grief effectively requires an approach distinct from standard depression or trauma therapy.
How Therapy Helps with Complicated Grief
Therapeutic modalities can provide a path toward healing and reintegration. Common approaches include:
- Complicated Grief Therapy (CGT): A structured, evidence-based treatment specifically designed for grief that does not abate
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): To challenge distorted thoughts and beliefs around guilt, blame, or meaning
- Narrative therapy: Rewriting the story of loss to integrate it into one’s life
- Relational or attachment-focused therapy: Exploring how your inner models of attachment affect your ability to grieve
Therapy helps you navigate the paradox of holding grief and building a life that coexists with loss.
Steps You Can Take Toward Healing
If you believe you may be in the throes of complicated grief, the following actions can help:
- Reach out for professional help — A qualified clinician can guide a personalized grief protocol.
- Join support groups — Sharing with others who understand can diminish isolation.
- Express your feelings — Journaling, art, or conversation can help you externalize pain.
- Establish safe rituals — Memorials, anniversaries, or personal ceremonies can help you hold on and let go.
- Self‑care routines — Regular sleep, movement, nutrition, and grounding practices offer stability.
Moving forward doesn’t require forgetting. It asks you to learn to live alongside your grief, not behind it.
When to Seek Help Immediately
If any of the following occur, reach out to a mental health professional without delay:
- Persistent numbness or detachment
- Thoughts of harming yourself or the deceased
- Inability to function in daily life for months or years
- Compulsive avoidance of reminders, or obsessional rumination
Complicated grief is treatable. You do not have to endure this alone.
Final Thoughts
Grief by its nature is painful. But when that pain becomes incessant, when life no longer feels navigable, you deserve a pathway toward healing. Understanding complicated grief is the first step. The next is reaching for support, not staying captive to the past.
If you or someone you care about feels caught in this endless loop of grief, book a consultation with us at Transformative Mindset. We specialize in grief therapy and can help you find your way out—toward renewed meaning, connection, and life.